We didn't find out :(

In case you were wondering why I didn't tell everyone the gender news today..... its because we didn't find out. 

We didn't have a sonogram today, and even though I begged the doctor he wouldn't do one.  He said we should wait until 20 weeks when he can check the heart and brains and the baby is more developed.  That way it is easier to determine the gender for sure.  All I got today was my blood taken.  If I would have known that I probably wouldn't have gone.  So disappointing.

Erich would like me to stay positive so I am trying, but I was really upset this morning.  We did hear the baby's heartbeat, and it was strong and good.  I'm trying to be thankful for that, but I feel like I already knew that.  One of those bonding things.  The heartrate was around 145bpm. 

I had a dream that the baby was a boy and Lacey and Ashley had dreams it was a girl.  The fact that everyone thinks it's a girl but me is kind of annoying, so I would just like to hurry up and find out already.  I want to embrace whatever it is and that's hard when you don't know.  And I definitely want to get this name thing going.  It's killing me not having a name.